{"id":33,"date":"2017-06-11T05:41:54","date_gmt":"2017-06-11T05:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/?p=33"},"modified":"2023-05-30T12:58:54","modified_gmt":"2023-05-30T12:58:54","slug":"intj-estj-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-estj-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"INTJ ESTJ Relationships: Can They Work Out?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Let\u2019s be honest:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Chemistry is possible between all personality types.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Satisfied with this answer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t worry, I didn\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So you might be wondering: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Can INTJ ESTJ relationships work out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bottom line:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>No.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But let\u2019s look at some of the reasons why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_65 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-estj-relationships\/#INTJ_ESTJ_Relationships_Run_Away%E2%80%A6_Now\" title=\"INTJ ESTJ Relationships: Run Away&#8230; Now\">INTJ ESTJ Relationships: Run Away&#8230; Now<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-estj-relationships\/#INTJ_ESTJ_Relationships_A_Clash_Of_Perspectives\" title=\"INTJ ESTJ Relationships: A Clash Of Perspectives\">INTJ ESTJ Relationships: A Clash Of Perspectives<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-estj-relationships\/#No_Redeeming_Features\" title=\"No Redeeming Features?\">No Redeeming Features?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"INTJ_ESTJ_Relationships_Run_Away%E2%80%A6_Now\"><\/span>INTJ ESTJ Relationships: Run Away&#8230; Now<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We can immediately look at one factor for success in an ESTJ INTJ relationship: the Introversion Extraversion preference match.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We can describe this as a <em>match<\/em> because Keirsey, who built on the work of Myers and Briggs, explained how it is, in theory, very important for a couple to share opposing preferences in this primary function.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In a nutshell, opposites attract, according to Keirsey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The outward-focused ESTJ thrives in the concrete and rigid interpretation of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They\u2019re extremely loyal people, often devoted to their family, friends, and country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>ESTJ types enjoy interacting with people, which can contrast strongly with the INTJ\u2019s inward-focused personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This key difference can be what makes an INTJ more sociable and willing to interact with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This can be hugely beneficial to the INTJ as it forces them to escape their beloved solitude and to perhaps learn about new perspectives on life from others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In any and all INTJ ESTJ relationships, the INTJ can gain immensely from this outward focus of the ESTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like INTJs, ESTJs are hard-working and competent individuals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Both are driven and ambitious, and while ESTJs thrive in a more people-oriented managerial role, both are key components of a successful and profitable commercial organization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In reality, though, things can work out quite differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"INTJ_ESTJ_Relationships_A_Clash_Of_Perspectives\"><\/span>INTJ ESTJ Relationships: A Clash Of Perspectives<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"665\" src=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Clash.jpg\" alt=\"INTJ ESTJ Clash\" class=\"wp-image-122\" srcset=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Clash.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Clash-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Clash-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>The ESTJ personality type is quite particular about tradition and how things have gone before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The INTJ type is more concerned about what <em>works<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The ESTJ is keen to see the world as structured and organized; they especially love systems and processes but can often be accused of missing the bigger picture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the other hand, an INTJ aims to have his or her internal world and thoughts structured and in order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While it can be difficult for the INTJ to communicate <em>why<\/em> there is a better way of doing something, the ESTJ will find it difficult to communicate <em>why<\/em> the current way is better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Both are not natural communicators, and both can be stubborn in their adherence to their view of what\u2019s right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>ESTJs are known for their dislike of innovation and change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can be quite difficult to explain to the ESTJ that what they\u2019re doing <em>today<\/em> might provide certain advantages, but <em>today\u2019s<\/em> actions could be leading to a <em>future<\/em> negative result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This inability to conceptualize abstract ideas is often the downfall of an ESTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a key area of incompatibility in INTJ ESTJ relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unable to deeply discuss the abstract will be seen by INTJs as a major drawback in an intimate relationship with an ESTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs thrive on the sharing of ideas and being able to logically debate with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The rigid, concrete thinking of the ESTJ could prove too much, and frustrate the INTJ in a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This effect can be exacerbated in the workplace by the ESTJ\u2019s devotion to authority and traditional morality structures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some describe it as the ESTJ\u2019s desire to make the world <em>fit<\/em> their ideals, rather than basing ideals on how the world <em>is<\/em> and has always been.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These two features of ESTJ individuals are, in my opinion, a major source of doubt about the viability of a healthy INTJ ESTJ relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs are renowned for having a fundamental inability to convey empathy and emotion during an argument or discussion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is in spite of their deep feelings of empathy and their powerful emotional reserves which they save for only the most serious of conflicts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In times of conflict in an INTJ ESTJ relationship, the rigid outward perspective of the ESTJ will invariably clash with the cold and considered position of the INTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The ESTJ clings to external authority structures and often does not (or cannot) understand why they believe what they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This can be exasperating for the intuitive and probing mind of the INTJ personality type.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It seems that both individuals operate on separate mental plains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ordinarily, the gap might be bridged by more gentle and persuasive communicators, those higher in emotional intelligence than in the abstract intelligence of the INTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And it is for this reason that, on the balance of things, an INTJ ESTJ relationship will not survive in the long run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"No_Redeeming_Features\"><\/span>No Redeeming Features?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"666\" src=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Friendship.jpg\" alt=\"INTJ ESTJ Friendship\" class=\"wp-image-121\" srcset=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Friendship.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Friendship-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INTJ-ESTJ-Friendship-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>We might be forgiven for being a little harsh on the attributes of the ESTJs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, we are looking at this through the eyes of an INTJ personality type, and also aiming to help you make a decision on whether to start a relationship with an ESTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It may be that ESTJs <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/social-instincts\/202108\/how-often-friends-become-lovers\" target=\"_blank\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/social-instincts\/202108\/how-often-friends-become-lovers\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">will serve better as friends than lovers<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>ESTJs are known for their reliability and dependable nature. They love to see others happy, and to help to make the world a better place, to the best of their abilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even though, in the workplace, they can be notoriously difficult to get along with, they are well-meaning, generally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A friendship with an ESTJ could be possible when work isn\u2019t involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We understand that balance is critical in relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There has to be a degree of give and take, and an understanding of where your romantic partner is coming from when they do something that irritates or annoys you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The great, loving things your ESTJ partner might do can bring joy and warmth into <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/am-i-an-intj\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"175\">your intense, intellectual INTJ world.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that ease of intuitive intellectual depth in communication will always be lacking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You could often feel dissatisfied and a little bored by the same old meaningless conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is true that, in the short term, you might find some comfort but over time you will be left wanting something more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What are your thoughts? Are you in a successful and thriving romantic relationship with an ESTJ personality type? Share your comments below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Let\u2019s be honest: Chemistry is possible between all personality types. Satisfied with this answer? No? Don\u2019t worry, I didn\u2019t think so. So you might be wondering: Can INTJ ESTJ relationships work out? Bottom line: No. But let\u2019s look at some of the reasons why. INTJ ESTJ Relationships: Run Away&#8230; Now We can immediately look at &#8230; <a title=\"INTJ ESTJ Relationships: Can They Work Out?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-estj-relationships\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about INTJ ESTJ Relationships: Can They Work Out?\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":120,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_sb_is_suggestion_mode":false,"_sb_show_suggestion_boards":false,"_sb_show_comment_boards":false,"_sb_suggestion_history":"","_sb_update_block_changes":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1245,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33\/revisions\/1245"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/120"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}