{"id":1085,"date":"2023-04-02T09:28:17","date_gmt":"2023-04-02T09:28:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/?p=1085"},"modified":"2023-09-01T12:22:32","modified_gmt":"2023-09-01T16:22:32","slug":"intj-friendships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/","title":{"rendered":"INTJ Friendships: How Does Being Friends With INTJs Work?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>While INTJs might not be the most popular kids in town, they\u2019re definitely not unfriendly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>True, they do prefer a smaller group of friends. But each member is carefully chosen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As an INTJ myself, I can attest to that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, what makes one worthy of INTJ friendships?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s dive in!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_64 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Things_to_Know_About_INTJ_Friendships\" title=\"Things to Know About INTJ Friendships\">Things to Know About INTJ Friendships<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Trustworthiness\" title=\"Trustworthiness\">Trustworthiness<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#To_be_asked_for_an_opinionadvice\" title=\"To be asked for an opinion\/advice\">To be asked for an opinion\/advice<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#To_be_direct_with_them\" title=\"To be direct with them\">To be direct with them<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Motivation\" title=\"Motivation\">Motivation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Freedom_and_alone_time\" title=\"Freedom and alone time\">Freedom and alone time<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Intellectual_compatibility\" title=\"Intellectual compatibility\">Intellectual compatibility<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Patience\" title=\"Patience\">Patience<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Quiet_company\" title=\"Quiet company\">Quiet company<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#Being_included\" title=\"Being included\">Being included<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/#To_Sum_Things_Up\" title=\"To Sum Things Up\">To Sum Things Up<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Things_to_Know_About_INTJ_Friendships\"><\/span>Things to Know About INTJ Friendships<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"INTJ Friend - How Are INTJs as Friends?\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/nIwbOfUfa5Y?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Among their circle of friends, INTJs have no issue with being who they are. Their wittiness and absurd sense of humor turns every conversation into true enjoyment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, getting to that point isn\u2019t very easy. People with the INTJ personality type have certain expectations from their relationship with friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s address each of them individually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Trustworthiness\"><\/span>Trustworthiness<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>For an INTJ, the most important thing in a friendship is trust.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the same time, it\u2019s a tough one to get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s because INTJs approach everything with rationality and critical thinking. And when it comes to trust in people, they tend to base it on real-life evidence. In other words, how you <strong>align your words with actions<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that\u2019s why it takes so long for INTJs to build their trust with someone. Basically, becoming an INTJ\u2019s close friend means passing their thorough evaluation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, this is where things get interesting. You see, INTJs do this without much thinking &#8211; this is their intuition working in the background. Their subconsciousness processes past experiences to set expectations. And when you exceed those expectations, you win the lottery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But once you lose an INTJ\u2019s trust, it\u2019s almost impossible to win it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It might sound cruel, but that\u2019s a pretty rational decision. Trusting in someone and being let down is inefficient, and INTJs are just being pragmatic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"To_be_asked_for_an_opinionadvice\"><\/span>To be asked for an opinion\/advice<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs have a very thorough thinking process. Before forming an opinion, they like to collect as much info as possible. Then, they look for patterns and meanings to find out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Why things are the way they are<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How they work<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>And whether there\u2019s a better approach&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you need a second opinion on a certain matter, an INTJ can give you even more than that. They\u2019ll point out a problem and offer the most rational and efficient way of solving it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In their head, INTJs are already ten steps ahead. They had already played a hundred scenarios and strategically singled out the best course of action.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.giphy.com\/media\/u4KibgMsDLWM0\/giphy.webp\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>However, don\u2019t expect an INTJ to always give their input unless asked. And it\u2019s not because they don\u2019t like giving their opinion. In fact, they\u2019re very proud of their thorough thinking process and enjoy putting it to good use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, the INTJ type is known for being very direct and abrupt in doing so. And this lack of social standards is often perceived as rude and heartless. Many INTJs learned that the hard way. That\u2019s why they may hold back from serving you the cold truth unless you ask for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if you <em>do<\/em> ask them, INTJs can give you quite a valuable perspective on the subject. Unlike many other MBTI types, they can put feelings aside and form a rational opinion based on facts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"To_be_direct_with_them\"><\/span>To be direct with them<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs live their lives in search of truth. They put a lot of time and effort into getting to the bottom of things. It\u2019s hard-earned knowledge, which they\u2019re very proud of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs hold truth at the top of their value hierarchy, so they have little patience for white lies and sugarcoating.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To them, <strong>truth is a sign of respect<\/strong> and the greatest gift they can give you. But that\u2019s what they expect from you as well.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs don\u2019t need their friends to make facts more palatable. They don\u2019t see the point in doing so, as it creates a distorted vision of a harsh reality. And that\u2019s not something you can learn from.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, INTJs prefer being faced with the truth, plain as it is.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, let\u2019s make one thing straight. <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-stereotypes\/\">INTJs aren\u2019t cold-blooded robots<\/a> &#8211; they <em>do<\/em> have feelings. And yes, they can get hurt by words, especially when coming from someone they care about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, INTJs take constructive criticism very well. If the end result of criticism is progress or a deeper understanding, then it serves its purpose.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Motivation\"><\/span>Motivation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"628\" src=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-male-friends-talking.png\" alt=\"two male friends talking\" class=\"wp-image-1092\" srcset=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-male-friends-talking.png 1200w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-male-friends-talking-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-male-friends-talking-1024x536.png 1024w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-male-friends-talking-768x402.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs are very motivated and goal-oriented. They always strive to do things in a better and more efficient way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They want to make the best use of their potential, and they want the same for their friends.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Observant and analytical, an INTJ can often see your strengths and capabilities better than you. And they\u2019ll make it their mission to help you use them to their full capacity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In friends, INTJs look for people that <strong>share the same motivation for improvement<\/strong>. That way, they can push each other to be better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Freedom_and_alone_time\"><\/span>Freedom and alone time<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Being friends with an INTJ means understanding they don\u2019t want to hang out all the time. The same goes for texting and chatting on social media.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That, of course, doesn\u2019t mean that an INTJ doesn\u2019t like you. They\u2019re simply not feeling the necessity to keep in frequent contact just to prove their love.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As introverts, INTJs <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-stress\/\">get drained by social interaction<\/a> and need time alone to recharge. Now, they love their personal space and freedom very much. So, rest assured they\u2019re sacrificing a lot when they choose to hang out with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But you need to understand that there\u2019s a limit to the level of social interaction they\u2019re comfortable with at a time. So <strong>don\u2019t smother them with attention<\/strong> when you see they need personal space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Intellectual_compatibility\"><\/span>Intellectual compatibility<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs find great pleasure in debating controversial topics and abstract theories. <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-cognitive-functions\/\">Their strong intuition<\/a> and critical thinking allow them to understand the deeper meaning of things. This means they can easily grasp complex concepts and ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJ enjoy the company of people with whom they share intellectual compatibility. Now, this doesn\u2019t mean they only befriend those that <a href=\"https:\/\/nautil.us\/how-is-a-genius-different-from-a-really-smart-person-235139\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">qualify for membership in Mensa<\/a>. In fact, actual IQ has nothing to do with how much an INTJ would like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, it\u2019s <strong>your interests and opinions<\/strong> that matter. An INTJ won\u2019t put too much effort into getting closer to someone they find boring and have no intellectual curiosity.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As you know, they hate small talk, as it gives them no intellectual satisfaction or mental stimulation. If your topics don\u2019t go beyond dinner-table conversation, don\u2019t expect much enthusiasm from an INTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Patience\"><\/span>Patience<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"628\" src=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-female-friends-talking.png\" alt=\"two female friends talking\" class=\"wp-image-1094\" srcset=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-female-friends-talking.png 1200w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-female-friends-talking-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-female-friends-talking-1024x536.png 1024w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/two-female-friends-talking-768x402.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>As we already established, INTJs aren\u2019t very trustful to people they don\u2019t know. And it takes them awful a lot to start trusting acquaintances.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In fact, you have quite a long way to go from a person they know, to a person they call a true friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that\u2019s something an INTJ doesn\u2019t want you to hold a grudge about. They\u2019re very private and reserved, so opening up to people doesn\u2019t come easy to them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, if you do stick around, they\u2019ll eventually loosen up their shell and show you their true personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Quiet_company\"><\/span>Quiet company<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Not in the mood for chit-chat?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That&#8217;s alright. Your INTJ friend doesn\u2019t feel like it, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What they do enjoy is your company, even if they\u2019re not exactly interacting with you in any way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can both <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-hobbies\/\">read books, study or enjoy music<\/a> and still have a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Being_included\"><\/span>Being included<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t just assume that, just because your friend is an INTJ, they don\u2019t want to go places with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If an INTJ considers you a good friend, they won\u2019t mind occasionally doing \u201coutgoing\u201d things just because you enjoy them. After all, they enjoy your company, and that\u2019s what matters the most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, don\u2019t expect an INTJ to invite themselves. If you don\u2019t ask them, they\u2019ll just assume you don\u2019t want them to come. And being as introverted as they are, they don\u2019t want to appear clingy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"To_Sum_Things_Up\"><\/span>To Sum Things Up<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There you have it, a comprehensive list of things INTJ expect from their friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And in the end, it all sums up into one thing &#8211; they expect understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They\u2019re introverts, after all, and pretty big ones at that. Still, they care a lot about their friends and show that in their unique way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Do you know how INTJs show love? <\/strong>Here\u2019s our<a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-love-language\/\"> article about INTJ&#8217;s love language<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/web-stories\/intj-friendships\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/web-stories\/intj-friendships\/\">Click here to view the Web story of this article.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While INTJs might not be the most popular kids in town, they\u2019re definitely not unfriendly. True, they do prefer a smaller group of friends. But each member is carefully chosen. As an INTJ myself, I can attest to that. So, what makes one worthy of INTJ friendships? Let\u2019s dive in! Things to Know About INTJ &#8230; <a title=\"INTJ Friendships: How Does Being Friends With INTJs Work?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-friendships\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about INTJ Friendships: How Does Being Friends With INTJs Work?\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1089,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_sb_is_suggestion_mode":false,"_sb_show_suggestion_boards":false,"_sb_show_comment_boards":false,"_sb_suggestion_history":"","_sb_update_block_changes":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1085"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1085"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1085\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1723,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1085\/revisions\/1723"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1089"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}