{"id":1011,"date":"2023-03-24T08:15:04","date_gmt":"2023-03-24T08:15:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/?p=1011"},"modified":"2023-09-23T14:35:54","modified_gmt":"2023-09-23T18:35:54","slug":"intj-love-language","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/","title":{"rendered":"INTJ Love Language: How Do INTJs Show Love?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Understanding your partner is an important factor in making a relationship works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s why learning your significant other\u2019s love language is important. Not everyone shows their affection in the same way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As an INTJ, I notice a big difference in expressing love compared to other MBTI types.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So today, I\u2019ll share with you everything there\u2019s to know about the INTJ love language.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s dive in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_64 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/#5_Ways_INTJs_Show_Love\" title=\"5 Ways INTJs Show Love\">5 Ways INTJs Show Love<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/#Words_of_Affirmation\" title=\"Words of Affirmation\">Words of Affirmation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/#Quality_Time\" title=\"Quality Time\">Quality Time<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/#Physical_Touch\" title=\"Physical Touch\">Physical Touch<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/#Acts_of_Service\" title=\"Acts of Service\">Acts of Service<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/#Gifting\" title=\"Gifting\">Gifting<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/#To_Sum_Things_Up\" title=\"To Sum Things Up\">To Sum Things Up<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Ways_INTJs_Show_Love\"><\/span>5 Ways INTJs Show Love<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"INTJ Love Languages\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/QoE7XDW9d_0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Different people use different ways to express their love.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to the marriage counselor <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/health\/mind\/what-are-the-five-love-languages\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Gary Chapman\u2019s book of the same name<\/a>, there are five love languages. These are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Words of affirmation<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Quality time<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Physical touch<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Acts of service<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Gifting<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>And every single person has an order of preference for them. So, while someone thinks that saying \u201cI love you\u201d is the ultimate proof of love, others might think that actions come first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What do INTJs think?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well, not every INTJ will have the same order for these love languages. There are certain things that will affect their choice, <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-enneagram\/\">like their enneagram<\/a> or matureness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, most INTJs will probably have a somewhat similar opinion on the best ways to express affection.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, let\u2019s address each of the love languages individually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Words_of_Affirmation\"><\/span>Words of Affirmation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This type of love language is about <strong>expressing emotions with spoken words<\/strong>. People with words of affirmation as their primary love language value verbal expressions of affection.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By affection, I don\u2019t mean just saying \u201cI love you,\u201d but giving compliments and encouragement, as well as keeping in touch digitally on a regular basis. Yes, sending loving stickers out of the blue to remind a person you think of them also counts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But as you already know, INTJs aren\u2019t very known for putting their feelings into words. For the majority of them, words of affirmation are not their first choice of love language. In fact, it usually falls at the bottom of the list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Still, that\u2019s not to say that you can\u2019t expect to hear some warm words from an INTJ. But people with this personality type definitely have a specific way of doing that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Look, even if words of affirmation don\u2019t have such a meaningful impact on INTJs, they understand that other MBTI types value them way more. And when they <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-in-love-signs\/\">really care about a person<\/a>, they won\u2019t mind manifesting their love language through words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, INTJs formulate their words in a way that feels most normal to them. This means not using simple phrases that are supposed to carry a large meaning in a few words. Sure, \u201cI love you\u201d sounds deep, but it\u2019s just as quick and easy to say, it carries no weight for an INTJ.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.giphy.com\/media\/gN1uhiUiR13ErucivA\/giphy.webp\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Instead, they will make an effort to make their words as specific as possible to show you they\u2019re really paying attention to you. So instead of saying they think you\u2019re cool, INTJs will give you a detailed explanation of your certain action they really liked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Quality_Time\"><\/span>Quality Time<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"628\" src=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/happy-couple-talking.png\" alt=\"happy couple talking\" class=\"wp-image-1019\" srcset=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/happy-couple-talking.png 1200w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/happy-couple-talking-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/happy-couple-talking-1024x536.png 1024w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/happy-couple-talking-768x402.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>For some people, spending quality time with their significant other is the best way to show affection. This means enjoying activities together but also listening and talking with your partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many INTJs find this to be <strong>their primary love language<\/strong>. And that\u2019s not even surprising.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sure, INTJs have limited social energy and really need their time alone to recharge. But when it comes to their significant others, that\u2019s not the case.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As you probably know, INTJs don\u2019t<em> click <\/em>with just anyone. They find no significance in small talk, so they won\u2019t even bother socializing with people they don\u2019t care about.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But when they can connect with someone on a deeper level, they\u2019ll enjoy spending time with them. They can lower their guard, have meaningful conversations and truly be themselves. Spending quality time with people they care about is a way INTJs subtly show their feelings.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Physical_Touch\"><\/span>Physical Touch<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Some people find physical touch to be the best proof of affection. With acquaintances and friends, that includes gestures like greetings and hugging. With partners, that involves everything from holding hands to intimate expressions like lovemaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Regarding people they don\u2019t know too well, INTJs don\u2019t feel comfortable using physical touch. Some people are huggers, even with those they meet for the first time. INTJs, on the other hand, find hugs to be very intrusive of their personal space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That personal space is reserved only for the people they really care about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But even then, INTJs <strong>don\u2019t put high significance on personal touch<\/strong> as a way of expression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even if an INTJ is a head over heels in love with you, they won\u2019t feel like expressing that through cuddling 24\/7.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But INTJs won\u2019t find partners that enjoy doing that as \u201cclingy.\u201d Mature INTJs understand that other MBTI types may need more physical expression of love than they do. And as long as they can balance that out with INTJs\u2019 need for solitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s more, some INTJs may find expressing love through touch easier than doing that through words. That\u2019s especially the case if they\u2019re in a romantic relationship with <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-esfp-relationship\/\">sensing-perceiving types like ESFP<\/a> and ESTP.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These two MBTI types communicate in a rather concrete way compared to INTJs, who are very abstract. That\u2019s why it might be easier for an INTJ to show their love with physical touch rather than trying to explain how they feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Acts_of_Service\"><\/span>Acts of Service<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"628\" src=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/couple-washing-dishes.png\" alt=\"couple washing dishes\" class=\"wp-image-1021\" srcset=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/couple-washing-dishes.png 1200w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/couple-washing-dishes-300x157.png 300w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/couple-washing-dishes-1024x536.png 1024w, https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/couple-washing-dishes-768x402.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Another way of showing affection is <strong>doing things for the ones you love<\/strong>. By doing that, they show they\u2019re attentive to their partner\u2019s needs and supportive of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These acts are the little things like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Helping with the housework<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Making coffee for the partner<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Bringing them soup when they\u2019re sick<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>When you care about someone, doing little things that make them feel better also makes us feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>INTJs might not be big on words, but they\u2019re definitely big on actions. That\u2019s why, for many of them, <strong>acts of service are their preferred love language<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Their abstract way of thinking can cause them to be misunderstood. But there\u2019s no way you can get the wrong idea from their actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Especially because they put so much thought behind them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You see, an INTJ won\u2019t just do those small things like making breakfast and doing their partner\u2019s chores. They will use their great analytical and critical thinking skills to help their partner solve a problem they might have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Gifting\"><\/span>Gifting<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, receiving gifts from a significant other is the best indicator of love for some people. And to them, it\u2019s not the present that counts, but the thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, most INTJs don\u2019t feel that way. Especially when not a lot of thought was put into choosing the present.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.giphy.com\/media\/h2Mw6pN40gdpitx5Hb\/giphy.webp\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>So, for instance, if an INTJ hates coffee, they surely won\u2019t be very touched by a coffee cup set as a gift. And what\u2019s worse, an INTJ will probably feel obligated to get you a gift as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But not all gifts would make them feel that way &#8211; just the random ones picked without much effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to people they care about, <strong>receiving a meaningful gift from them means so much to INTJs<\/strong>. Since they\u2019d put great attention onto choosing something their partner would like or could use, they cherish the same attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"To_Sum_Things_Up\"><\/span>To Sum Things Up<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Out of five love languages, INTJs most often put quality time and acts of service first. That\u2019s because they find it easier to express their feelings through their behavior rather than words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, that\u2019s not absolutely always the case, as some INTJs treasure words, touch, and gifts very much. Still, they also have a way of using them that\u2019s specific to INTJ personality type.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Which one of these love languages sounds like the most natural option for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Do you know what MBTI types match the best with yours?<\/strong> Here\u2019s our <a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/blog\/intj-compatibility-chart\/\">compatibility chart with an in-depth analysis of every pair<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/web-stories\/intj-love-language\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/web-stories\/intj-love-language\/\">Click here to view the Web story of this article.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Understanding your partner is an important factor in making a relationship works. That\u2019s why learning your significant other\u2019s love language is important. Not everyone shows their affection in the same way. As an INTJ, I notice a big difference in expressing love compared to other MBTI types. So today, I\u2019ll share with you everything there\u2019s &#8230; <a title=\"INTJ Love Language: How Do INTJs Show Love?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/intj-love-language\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about INTJ Love Language: How Do INTJs Show Love?\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1016,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_sb_is_suggestion_mode":false,"_sb_show_suggestion_boards":false,"_sb_show_comment_boards":false,"_sb_suggestion_history":"","_sb_update_block_changes":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1011"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1944,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011\/revisions\/1944"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intjsecrets.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}