As an INTJ you might find a great match in an ENTP partner.
But let’s be honest: a great match doesn’t imply a great relationship.
What can you do to improve your INTJ ENTP relationship?
You can start by trying to understand the fundamental features of the ENTP personality type.
Like INTJs, ENTPs are guided by introverted thinking.
In the workplace they regard comments like “it can’t be done” as a challenge.
They may not be the best people to follow through with an idea but they often come up with innovative and creative solutions to complex problems.
This could be due to their ability to quickly understand and see the complex relationships between people, things and ideas.
By understanding the dynamics at play in a particular environment they are able to better address the critical factors involved in a lasting solution.
In interpersonal relationships, ENTPs value competence and intelligence in themselves and others.
They are laid back and nonjudgmental individuals who love to engage in constant, meandering conversations – often to the point of excess!
Indeed, ENTPs are renowned for being unable to stop talking at times.
Many have described how ENTPs sometimes think they’re smarter than they usually are, but this is not too much of an issue in relationships due to the relaxed nature of the ENTP.
Making a silly comment is more likely to elicit a grin from the ENTP than petty theatrics.
Differing from an INTJ, the ENTP is more likely to be late for pre-arranged plans and can be more untidy and less orderly than INTJs.
Their lack of future goals and focus can alarm some INTJs. It often leads to anxiety on the part of the INTJ in the INTJ ENTP relationship.
ENTPs prove to be loyal friends and they are known for remembering small things in relationships that show their romantic partners that they think of them and really do care.
In social environments, the ENTP really comes alive and loves to be at the center of attention at social occasions but can go a bit far when making fun of others.
It is usually in good spirit though and not a deliberate attempt to hurt others.
The fervor for being around other people might end up exhausting the INTJ and he or she must understand that they shouldn’t expect to keep up with the social energy of the ENTP.
It is very difficult to sustain the same level of social activity for INTJs.
A Complimentary Combination
One of the main features of the relationship dynamic can be summarized as follows:
The disorganized Perceiving function can drive INTJs crazy but the Extroverted function helps get INTJs out of the house.
But these key differences can add some much needed variability into the structured and planned life of the INTJ.
Of course, a healthy balance is essential but sometimes the organized nature of the INTJ can do them more harm than good in the long run.
It is in smaller, intimate social gatherings and while alone together that the INTJ ENTP relationship can flourish.
The conversation will be both deep and broad and often the ENTP will come up with great ideas while the INTJ can analyze them and later on put them into action if required.
The INTJ’s and ENTP’s cognitive functions mirror each other and if both partners are reasonable and respecting people, an enduring bond of deep understanding will form between both individuals, unlike what may be possible in many other personality pairings.
With all this being said, every relationship requires work, sacrifice and compromise.
But, lest this sounds like a tremendous burden, always remember that the rewards are virtually unlimited.
5 Tips For INTJs
- Always listen to your ENTP partner and let them subtly, or otherwise, know that you’re listening. ENTPs crave a sense of being understood and knowing they have somebody who wants to listen to their chatter, whether or not it is meaningful in a deeper way. At the same time, if you are busy with something and need to concentrate, let your ENTP know this – they are very respectful of other people’s boundaries.
- Remember the small things. ENTPs, as mentioned above, go out of their way to remember seemingly inconsequential things about their partners and friends. Do the same for them and let them know you also care deeply. Whether it’s remembering something witty they mentioned at a party or thanking them for something they did in the recent past, tell your ENTP partner and remind them that you notice these small things.
- Allocate time and space for yourself. As an INTJ you need space and time alone to unwind, recharge and relax. In an INTJ ENTP relationship, it may be difficult at times to manage this, especially if you are making an effort to be more outgoing for your ENTP partner. Unless you communicate your need for solitude, you might become overwhelmed and anxious with all the socializing.
- Understand that being untidy does not mean being dirty. ENTPs may have less interest in maintaining a very neat and tidy living space but don’t let appearances deceive you. ENTPs are organized in their own way and this is clear by their uncanny ability to make things happen and work. As an INTJ you must accept that your way of doing things is not the only way.
- Communicate at all times. Share with your ENTP partner the things they do that annoy you. Tell them in detail and be honest. Ask them for the same. But also accept that some things will never change and you must learn what can and can’t be altered or improved. You must make a decision to love their ENTP quirks and traits and focus on all the positives they bring to your relationship.
What are your thoughts? Are you in a successful and thriving relationship with an ENTP? Share your comments below.
P.S. I’ve read a lot of books and taken a lot of courses, but the one thing that has helped me the most is the INTJ Starter Kit by Personality Hacker. If you’re an INTJ who is tired of general self-improvement advice and who wants specific, tailor-made suggestions on how to optimize your life, you should check it out.